This is a Heading One
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AATTAP-NCJTC staff, family survivors, and program friends who attended the Missing Children’s Day event and OJJDP roundtable discussion are FRONT ROW (from left): AATTAP Administrator Janell Rasmussen; parent survivor Yvonne Ambrose; parent survivor Patty Wetterling; parent-survivor Pamela Foster; and AATTAP Special Projects Associate Helen Connelly. BACK ROW (from left): NCJTC Executive Director Brad Russ; sibling survivor Kimber; sibling survivor Rysa; parent survivor Dr. Noelle Hunter; parent survivor Jeffery Morehouse; sibling survivor Heather; parent survivor Ahmad Rivazfar; family therapist Lillian Ankrah; AATTAP Deputy Administrator Jenniffer Price-Lehmann; Pamela Foster’s husband, Troy Olsen; and AATTAP Project Coordinator Yesenia “Jesi” Leon-Baron. Family survivors, OJJDP leaders, and members of the AATTAP-NCJTC team, meet for a roundtable discussion at OJJDP headquarters after the 2024 Missing Children’s Day event. There, OJJDP Administrator Liz Ryan (shown right center) said, "The emotional toll of a missing child reverberates throughout our communities, impacting parents, caregivers and families—truly, all of us.” Hanna’s winning poster “adeptly captures the notion that the puzzle is not complete until the missing piece—the child—is back home,” Liz Ryan said during the 2024 Missing Children’s Day. More than 1,300 poster entries were submitted to the annual National Missing Children’s Day poster contest by fifth graders from 30 states. See the winning state posters at https://ojjdp.ojp.gov/events/nmcd/2024-winning-state-posters. Parent survivors: Patty Wetterling shares a moment with another mother who lost a child to abduction and murder: Pamela Foster. Foster is the mother of Ashlynne Mike, whose 2016 abduction and murder on the Navajo Nation Reservation in New Mexico led to the creation of the 2018 Ashlynne Mike AMBER Alert in Indian Country Act—and AATTAP’s AMBER Alert in Indian Country initiative.
By Denise Gee Peacock
National Missing Children’s Day has long been a lodestar for families of missing children—a safe harbor for gathering with child protection professionals who on that day are recognized by the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ) for being at the top of their game.
This year that star shone brighter than ever, largely fueled by the unwavering advocacy work of nearly a dozen surviving family members—including parents and siblings—who have endured the nightmare of a missing child, brother, or sister. Their presence at the May 22 commemoration, and related events, was deeply moving—despite the fact that “all of us belong to a club that no one ever wants to belong to,” says parent survivor Ahmad Rivazfar.
That club’s members include parents and siblings desperate to find their missing loved ones, whose whereabouts remain unknown. They are also families who will forever grieve a child who was abducted, sexually assaulted, and murdered; families of children illegally taken out of the country by an estranged parent; families who have fortunately been reunited with their once-missing child, but now work to become whole again.
These family survivors’ stories were invaluable to discussions during the 2024 National Missing Children’s Day events. The AMBER Alert Training & Technical Assistance Program (AATTAP) and National Criminal Justice Training Center (NCJTC) hosted the family members at the events, with support from the DOJ’s Office of Justice Programs (OJP) and Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention (OJJDP).
The AATTAP-NCJTC team and surviving family members were unified in promoting their work on two updated DOJ resources for parents and families of missing children: When Your Child Is Missing: A Family Survival Guide (released last year) and the forthcoming sibling-focused survival guide, What About Me? Finding Your Path When Your Brother or Sister Is Missing.
Collaboration for a clearer path forward
The day before the National Missing Children’s Day commemoration, surviving family members paid a visit to the Alexandria, Virginia, headquarters of the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC). Afterward they attended a private AATTAP reception recognizing their contributions to ensuring family members across the nation have access to the latest information and resources.
They also previewed video segments from a filming project completed earlier this year, one in which contributors to the forthcoming What About Me? sibling survival guide shared their insights and advice to illuminate its content for readers. The videos will be offered alongside the sibling guide (after its release later this year) on the Family Survival Guide website.
During the National Missing Children’s Day ceremony, the group received thanks for their efforts from U.S. Assistant Attorney General Amy L. Solomon, OJJDP Administrator Liz Ryan, and NCMEC President and CEO Michelle DeLaune—as well as attendee applause—when they were asked to stand for recognition.
They also heard from nationally revered parent-advocate and retired AATTAP-NCJTC Associate Patty Wetterling, who was a featured speaker at the event. Wetterling is the mother of Jacob Wetterling, who was abducted and murdered in 1989. (Read more about her search for him, and her new book, Dear Jacob, here—and an excerpt from her Missing Children’s Day talk below.) Wetterling also helped update the new edition of the Family Survival Guide, released in 2023.
During the session, the family members discussed their experiences with being a part of these survival guide projects, along with their ongoing needs and goals as surviving family members who have experienced a missing child or sibling.
They also offered OJJDP and AATTAP leaders recommendations on ways to best support families and more broadly promote awareness and distribution of critically important resources for families, law enforcement, and child advocates.
Following through on a commitment made by OJJDP Administrator Ryan last year during her impactful meeting with the Family Survival Guide contributors at the conclusion of the Missing Children’s Day ceremony, this year’s event included an inaugural, private Family Roundtable discussion with sibling guide family contributors.
Commemoration highlights
Each year, the DOJ honors agencies, organizations, law enforcement officials, and others whose exemplary and heroic efforts have helped recover missing children and prosecute those who harm them.
“Our commemoration is taking a new format this year,” Ryan explained. “OJJDP decided not only to highlight the tremendous work of those who protect children, but also address the challenges in this work—to learn more about issues involving missing kids, and hold in-depth conversations with youth and families of missing and murdered children and other experts on these topics.”
After the commemoration, a cadre of experts, including a youth advocate with lived experience in the foster care system, joined a panel discussion on why so many children and young adults go missing from care. “They will suggest ways to improve collaboration and ensure the well-being of these children,” Ryan said. She next recognized members of the Family Roundtable—parents, siblings and others with a loved one who has gone missing. “Each of them has contributed to two very important [survival] documents.”
When Your Child Is Missing: A Family Survival Guide was announced at the 2023 Missing Children’s Day event. The new fifth edition provides a wider range of missing child situations; gives families instant access to information online; and allows them to hear advice and encouragement from the parents themselves, who speak in powerful videos.
As was the case with the Family Survival Guide, the What About Me? project was developed by AATTAP’s publications team with guidance and oversight from the OJJDP. Both initiatives were stewarded by Helen Connelly, retired FVTC-NCJTC Program Administrator who continues to share her expertise as an Associate employee.
Looking back—and ahead
“As you know thousands of children go missing in the U.S. every year,” Ryan said. “While most are safely recovered, others are found deceased and never identified. Currently there are more than 1,000 children whose remains have been found, but have not been identified. We want to help name them, and return them to their families, communities, and loved ones.”
The OJJDP and NCMEC, with support from the DOJ—and training and technical assistance from the AATTAP and NCJTC—will work with state and local law enforcement agencies to identify these children, Ryan explained, adding, “they deserve no less.”
The forthcoming sibling survival guide, What About Me?, will help a missing child’s siblings understand the emotional turmoil surrounding the crisis as well as the search process. It will offer trusted advice and firsthand insight into what to expect; tips for managing self-care and family dynamics; and guidance on how to deal with law enforcement, the courts, and the media.
Parent-advocate Patty Wetterling to DOJ and NCMEC: ‘You save lives. You saved mine.’
NCMEC President and CEO Michelle DeLaune welcomed parent-advocate Patti Wetterling to speak, recognizing her as “a longtime friend and a personal source of inspiration.”
“Her son, Jacob, who went missing when he was 11 years old, was abducted near their home in Minnesota,” DeLaune said. “Patty has given her life to advocating for her son. She’s raised a beautiful family. And she’s a fierce mother, one who changes this world with every person she speaks to.”
Assistant U.S. Attorney General Amy L. Solomon added, “We’re so honored that you could be with us today, Patty. We’re indebted to you for your years of advocacy on behalf of missing children, and for the work you continue to do to claim a brighter future for our children.”
What follows is an excerpt of Wetterling’s remarks given at this year’s National Missing Children’s Day commemoration.
I want to thank you, Liz Ryan, for meeting with this amazing group. [Wetterling gestures to the family-survivor group attending the ceremony.] I belong over there with you, my heart is with you, and we draw strength from you. I also want to thank everybody at NCMEC and the DOJ. You save lives. You saved mine.
National Missing Children’s Day is a time to shine a light on a dark topic. When my son, Jacob, was kidnapped, I knew nothing about crimes against children. ‘Who would do that?’ I cried, ‘Who would harm a child?’ It is an unimaginable pain.
After a few days, sleep deprived and depressed, I crawled into bed and pulled the covers over my head, deciding I’m never gonna get out of bed again. It’s too hard. It hurts too much. I can’t do it. But with tears streaming down my face, I suddenly saw Jacob curled up in a ball somewhere saying the same thing. ‘I can’t do this anymore. It’s too hard. They’re never going to find me.’
Screaming, I got up and said, ‘Hold on Jacob, we will find you! But you have to stay strong!’ I got out of bed. That decision to get out of bed was the first of many choices that I had to make.
That was in the early days, and in the 34 years that have followed, I decided I couldn’t live in the darkness. I chose to seek light instead. I chose to fight for the world that Jacob knew and loved—a world that was fair, kind, and safe for kids.
When I was given the phone number for the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, I learned so much about the problem—how many children were missing and exploited, and what we all needed to do to bring them home. Most kids come home because somebody is aware of their abduction. They look at the pictures. And if they see something unusual about a child, or a child in a bad situation, they trust their instincts and call the police.
We tried to make sure everybody got Jacob’s pictures. We had to mail out pictures back in 1989. We sent them all over. My favorite story was when a couple was traveling from Minnesota to Florida and thought they saw Jacob. They recognized the picture and said, ‘He was with a man who’s very thin, and he didn’t look like he wanted to be with this guy.’ But they didn’t know who to call. So eventually they called the FBI in Minneapolis. When they described the man that this boy was with, the FBI agent knew who they were talking about…and caught up with him in Flagstaff, Arizona. And clearly [the child they found with him] wasn’t Jacob.
But at least one 12-year-old boy got to go home because somebody was aware of the problem. They looked at the pictures and took that extra step of being there for the child. In those 34 years since Jacob was kidnapped, I’ve learned we are stronger when we collectively pool ideas and resources through Team HOPE and the family and sibling survival guides, we support each other and offer assistance to other families walking down this difficult path.
We have to keep missing children in our hearts until we can hold them in our arms again.
We are all the hope for all missing children, as well as all children who are home safe today.
We can never give up hope.
And together, we can, and we will, build a safer world for all of our children.