NCJTC – AMBER Advocate

By Denise Gee Peacock

As the 30th anniversary of Amber Hagerman’s murder approaches, the search for her killer continues. Mark Simpson, the case’s original investigative supervisor at the Arlington Police Department (APD) from 1996 to 2007, reflects on a crime that transformed policing.

“We realized ... we didn’t have a major case response plan,” he recalls. The tragedy forced advancements, most notably the AMBER Alert system, but for Simpson, the goal remains: “to see the case solved.”

Today, that mission falls to APD Detective Krystalynne Robinson. She keeps Amber’s portrait near her desk as a daily reminder. Despite thousands of leads and decades of work, the case is far from cold; tips still arrive weekly. Robinson is now vetting labs for advanced DNA testing, driven by the same unwavering goal: “to get justice.”

*Retired Arlington (Texas) Police Department Sergeant Mark Simpson served as the Investigative Supervisor for the Amber Hagerman case during its earliest days.*

As we approach the 30th anniversary of the Amber Hagerman abduction and murder, what goes through your mind?

The likelihood that whoever committed the crime may still be out there troubles me. But I also look at everything that resulted from Amber’s death—the advancements law enforcement has made, not only in training but also investigative tactics, and our ability to respond to child abductions, including the AMBER Alert system—that we didn’t have before. It’s horrible that it took this little girl’s death to do that, but at least her death was not in vain.

What were some advancements within the Arlington Police Department?

We realized pretty quickly into Amber’s investigation that we didn’t have a major case response plan. For a situation requiring immediate, extensive deployment of personnel, who would we deploy? How long would we deploy them? In a major deployment, you can push people 18 hours, 20 hours, sometimes more, but then they start to make mistakes. And afterward, if you haven’t accomplished what you set out to do, what is the follow-up plan? There’s got to be a transition into another group of detectives who can keep the investigation moving. We had a lot to learn—and rapidly.

Was this a precursor to a child abduction response team (CART)?

I wish we’d had the tremendous forethought to create a CART back then, but our work was more reactionary. Later, when I began teaching for the National Criminal Justice Training Center (NCJTC) of Fox Valley Technical College, the emphasis on CART creation was bringing in people from different disciplines, from different jurisdictions, people who each brought something different to the table. But at the time, our team was learning as we were going.

How did you keep up with all the investigative leads?

Leads management was a huge learning curve. Unless you’ve ever been hit with a case like the Hagerman one, it’s hard to describe the amount of intelligence that comes in very quickly. We investigated more than 7,000 leads during my tenure. And a lot of that information was time sensitive. To manage it, we needed to learn how to get the information into a searchable database, how to collate it, how to determine what needed to be dealt with immediately, and how to quickly get the information to the people who could use it. We also had endless rows of three-ring binders with hard copies of investigative reports to organize. That was extremely labor- and resource-intensive, but we didn’t want to be in a situation where we might be reinvestigating the same lead over and over.

How has Amber’s case weighed on you?

Well, justice has yet to be served to the killer. That bothers me. And what was done to Amber is not the kind of thing that you go into a bar and have a few drinks and brag to your buddies about. It’s something you either take to your grave or wind up letting slip to someone very close to you. So I can only hope that someone will one day talk, and that will lead to a reckoning for Amber’s death. Someone needs to be held to account.

And as for the investigation?

I know with certainty that we did everything that we could do to push the case forward, so I have no regrets. I was given every resource I asked for, and even got to handpick the people who investigated the case. They were considered some of the brightest minds around.

Tell us about the investigative task force.

When Amber was first abducted, the city devoted 45 detectives and four sergeants to her case alone. I was one of those four sergeants. Within about 30 days, we pared it back to 15 detectives and one sergeant, with that sergeant being me. I chose people who were very good at their jobs—at interviewing, at interrogations, who had strong attention to detail, who had a deep sense of integrity. We were a standalone task force for about 18 months until our time came to a close, which was hard. The people on that task force, when they left, they left in tears. These were grown men who did not want to quit. But after the task force disbanded and I went back to working homicide, the case followed our team there and we kept it alive.

Did that spur your decision to open a cold case unit?

It was one of the reasons. We wanted to stay focused on Amber’s case as long as we could. For context, we decided a cold case would be one that had gone 120 days without a viable lead. But interestingly, during my time with the Arlington Police Department, Amber’s case never went 120 days without actionable intelligence. So technically it never went cold.

What was the most challenging aspect of working the case?

Keeping an aggressive investigative stance. Time is your enemy during child abduction investigations, since the longer they go, the more likely that people’s memories will fade, and crime scenes yet to be identified will be corrupted or disappear. You’ve got to keep moving very deliberately, with as much speed as possible, and leave no stone unturned. But you also have to be mindful not to investigate so many things at one time that you wind up not doing any of the tasks well. My job was to make sure that the 15 detectives on our task force had the resources they needed to do the job, that they had the freedom to make good decisions, and I could help them keep extraneous baloney at bay. For the most part, that was allowed to happen. The goal was to keep everyone from feeling overwhelmed. That’s when you lose track of your priorities. How did you try to boost morale? One way was in our command post. I kept a timeline of our work that ran all the way around the room and continued yet again. The reason I did so was twofold. One reason was for easy reference. But the other was to have a visual representation of what we were doing as a team. Leads were coming in hand over fist, and I wanted them to see what they were getting done—not only to develop new strategies from what everyone was finding, but also to underscore that while we didn’t have an arrest, we were still making progress. Tell us about your relationship with Amber’s family. Relationships in such cases can be complex, but we all became pretty close. The family knew they could call us 24/7/365, which was important. Most people do better when they approach something from a position of knowledge, so we made sure lines of communication stayed open. We had several formalized briefings with them, but over time we slowed that down simply because there wasn’t much new to share. It was about that time when I could see Donna losing patience with us. She appeared on television and said some not-very-nice things about me. But I realized it wasn’t personal. She was just frustrated because she didn’t know exactly what was happening.

How did the situation resolve?

Our victim assistance coordinator, Derrelynn Perryman, told me that Donna wanted to visit the command post. I said, ‘No. We have sensitive information in there; nothing good could come from that.’ Well, Derrelynn worked on me for about a week until I relented. I said, ‘OK, Donna can come up, but here’s a list of things she can’t do in there. She can’t be left alone, or take any pictures, that kind of thing.’ So Donna comes up to the post, and all the detectives clear out except for me. She sits down and looks around for what seemed like an hour but was probably only 10 minutes. She then gets up and walks out. And I thought, well, that wasn’t so bad. A few days later Derrelynn returns and says, ‘Donna wants to come back to the command post.’ So again, I say no, but again I get talked into it. This time Donna comes in with a paper sack. And in that sack is a framed photo of Amber. It was a Christmas picture, one that wound up being used on many of Amber’s flyers. She wanted us to hang Amber’s picture on the wall, which we did. She also gave us a Native American Kokopelli figurine. She wanted that in there with us too for some reason. Then she took a piece of paper and a Sharpie and wrote ‘Amber’s Room’ on it. She wanted that on the door of the command post. So I had an actual sign made that read “Amber’s Room’—one that could replace ‘Conference Room 3.’ And that was the beginning of the change between the Arlington Police Department and Donna. She just needed to see we were doing something. She wasn’t sure exactly what we were doing, but she could see it was progress. She also felt a personal connection to the space. It dawned on me then that you have to think outside the box in your work with families, especially if you feel like you’re losing touch with them. I’d been too focused on what you might call less holistic things until Derrelynn, and Donna, helped me see that.

What do you remember about the public’s reaction to the case?

When I think about when Amber was abducted, I don’t know exactly how to describe it, but the city and the news media was like an animal that had to be fed. People were just absolutely incensed that this type of crime could happen in our community.

What do you think most resonated with people?

Looking back on it, one difference was the media’s use of video. WFAA Channel 8 had been shooting a documentary about Amber and her family for a story about families living on, and off, welfare, and that footage really struck a chord with people. People felt like they knew Amber. We didn’t just have a photograph of her, but we had moments with Amber—her riding her bicycle, her doing homework, her playing with her little brother, Ricky. That video really brought that little girl to life, and made so many people want to do something to help.

Tell us about your relationship with the media during that time.

Historically, law enforcement has tried to keep the media at arm’s length. But my philosophy was to give the media anything and everything if it didn’t negatively impact our investigation. The more they knew, the better off we could be with our police work, especially since the media helps us connect with the public. If we’d chosen to shut out the media, they would have hunted for information on their own that may not have been accurate.

What do you think about how technology has changed in the past 30 years?

Unfortunately, our work occurred during a very different time. We didn’t have the ability to geolocate cellphones in a certain area or have license plate readers check tags near a specific location. There were no doorbell cameras. Back then there was only one security camera at a convenience store across the street from where Amber was abducted—and the camera wasn’t outside, but inside, pointed down on a register, so they could watch themselves get robbed. The electronic fingerprints people leave behind now are huge. But there’s one skill that need not get lost among the technological advances. Investigators should maintain the ability to simply talk with people. That also yields important results.

What did you know about DNA evidence at the time of Amber’s investigation?

We knew enough about it to hang onto whatever evidence we could to await future advances in the technology, which was in its infancy at the time. There are so many options for DNA testing now, so many potential strategies that we didn’t have back then. As time goes on, that will do nothing but expand.

What advice do you give law enforcement about improving responses to missing child cases?

What’s important is to have a plan. Know what you’re going to do if this type of case happens so that you can move rapidly and deliberately to get the investigation off the ground. Also, get trained. Nobody has any better instructors or better materials or message than the NCJTC and AMBER Alert Training & Technical Assistance Program. It’s no good trying to figure things out in a parking lot somewhere while your suspect is fleeing somewhere with your victim. Lastly, stay current on your resources—personnel, equipment, specialized assistance. Because over time, resources will change. You might have people with a particular investigative strength today, but in six months, they may have moved on. Who will replace them? That’s a planning reality that shouldn’t be overlooked.

Detective Krystalynne Robinson looking through evidence binder with picture of Amber Hagerman on easel behind her — Arlington (Texas) Police Detective Krystallyne Robinson keeps a framed portrait of Amber Hagerman in her office. "It's the first thing I look at every day," she says. "That means there's literally not a day that goes by that I'm at work and I don't think about her."

What’s your perspective on the 30th anniversary of Amber’s case?

It’s a huge milestone—one that gives us the opportunity to keep the focus on Amber while encouraging the public to share what they may know about the case.

On the 25th anniversary the Arlington PD discussed the possibility of DNA testing being used for the investigation. What’s the latest on that?

Since the amount of physical evidence that we have is very limited, I’m in the process of vetting labs to make sure they can do what we need them to without consuming the entire sample. Given the advancements in technology—that are just continuing to advance—I’m hopeful about the work the labs can do.

What else should we know about the case?

I want people to know this case isn’t on the backburner for the Arlington Police Department, or for me. It’s important for our department to solve this crime.

What drives you forward to do that?

I keep a framed portrait of Amber in my office. It’s near my desk, and it’s the first thing I look at every day. That means there’s literally not a day that goes by that I’m at work and I don’t think about her.

What’s your investigative approach, given the years that have passed?

It’s important that I continually have a fresh approach to the case, and keep an open mind. I teach a lot at the academy, and tell the recruits, you have to be self-consciously aware of the things that you’re doing and in the way you approach your investigations. That’s true for any case, but especially Amber’s. We have to just keep digging—digging into the leads and the evidence.

How often do you get leads on the case?

We get phone calls, emails, and letters about the case at least weekly. I know I don’t go a month without receiving an email or phone call related to it.

What would you say to Amber’s family?

As Amber’s mother knows, I’ve put a lot of work into this case—going through every report and previous detectives’ narratives. Our goal is always to get justice, and that’s what we’re aiming for. We also never want Amber’s name to be forgotten.

By Denise Gee Peacock

While searching for their missing child, parents carry a heavy load—assisting law enforcement, rallying media and public interest in the case, and working to keep food on the table—all while not completely unraveling. But another group of family members is also struggling: the missing child’s siblings.

As sibling survivor Trevor Wetterling recalls, “People would always ask, ‘How are your parents doing?’ And I’d think, ‘What about me? Don’t they care how I’m doing?’ ” Meanwhile, he says, “I’d come home from school, and everyone was sitting around being quiet. No one would tell me what was going on.”

Like other sibling survivors, Trevor’s feelings stem not from self-centeredness, but from a need to validate his own trauma, his own sense of worth.

Trevor is the brother of Jacob Wetterling, an 11-year-old who was kidnapped at gunpoint by a masked man in 1988. Trevor was with Jacob when the abduction occurred, making the ordeal even more traumatic. The Wetterling family spent nearly three decades searching for Jacob until 2016, when his killer divulged to law enforcement where the boy’s body could be found. This, of course, came as another blow.

Trevor and his sisters, Amy and Carmen, are three of 16 sibling survivors of missing children willing to talk candidly about the challenges they faced—and sometimes continue to reckon with. If struggling siblings are lucky, they’ll find support from well-trained professionals. If they’re even luckier, they’ll find strength from those who truly understand their needs: Fellow survivors—whom Zach Svendgard calls “our chosen family.”

Zack is the brother of Jessika Svendgard, an honor student who, at age 15, left home after receiving a bad grade. Alone and vulnerable, she was lured into the hands of sex traffickers until she could break free from her abusers. Zack appreciates Jessika’s strength—and works to share it. “The world is a heavy thing to try to balance all on our own shoulders,” he says. “But powerful things can happen when kind people are enabled to take action.”

The action these siblings have taken is helping update a comprehensive resource for children going through similar struggles: the multimedia guide, What About Me? Finding Your Path Forward When Your Brother or Sister Is Missing.

The new 98-page What About Me? is the second edition of a guide first published in 2007. It was spearheaded by the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention (OJJDP) / Office of Justice Programs (OJP) of the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ). Its development was overseen by the AMBER Alert Training & Technical Assistance Program (AATTAP) / National Criminal Justice Training Center (NCJTC) of Fox Valley Technical College.

Contributors to What About Me? bring clarity to the complex needs siblings face: Children in families with missing siblings can’t easily process what they’re experiencing. They aren’t hearing the particulars from law enforcement. They aren’t trained to respond to an intrusive or hurtful question from the media. They don’t know how to navigate their frayed family dynamics. And they need help.

The guide provides tangible ways that siblings of missing children can handle stress, the investigative process, and media interactions. It also can help them express their needs to their loved ones and family advocates, and find helpful resources during either a short or prolonged period of uncertainty, fear, and grief.

What About Me? features the voices and perspectives of eight sibling contributors while weaving in advice from seven other siblings who participated in the first edition. It also reflects the expertise of DOJ/AATTAP/NCJTC subject matter experts, child/victim advocates, and relevant, credible U.S. agencies that can help.

The sibling contributors have survived vastly different experiences: Some have missing siblings who were kidnapped by strangers or abducted by family members, while others have siblings who ran away or were lured away from home. Some of their siblings were found safe and returned home. One contributor is herself a victim of a horrific abduction and assault—in which her younger sister was murdered. Others have siblings whose whereabouts still remain unknown, or they were found deceased.

Click here to access a PDF of this advice from the sibling survivors. Share it with anyone searching for a loved one.

To produce What About Me?, OJJDP/OJP tapped the AATTAP publications team led by Bonnie Ferenbach, and NCJTC Associate Helen Connelly to coordinate the project. The group also played key roles in updating When Your Child Is Missing: A Family Survival Guide, released in 2023.

Connelly is a longtime advocate for missing children and their families. In 2005, while serving as a senior consultant for the U.S. Department of Justice, Connelly and Ron Laney, then Associate Administrator of OJJDP’s Child Protection Division, teamed up to produce the first-ever sibling survival guide, What About Me? Coping With the Abduction of a Brother or Sister, published in 2007.

“Through Helen and Ron’s vision and compassion, this guide, as well as numerous other resources, have provided support, encouragement, help, and resources needed by so many families,” says AATTAP Administrator Janell Rasmussen.

With Connelly’s encouragement, past and present sibling contributors participated in writing the guide because they recognize shared pain—and potential dilemmas. “Trauma, if left untreated, can manifest itself in harmful ways later in life,” says sibling contributor Heather Bish.

The sibling survivors who worked on the updated resource valued the chance to collaborate with others in “the club nobody wants to belong to,” says Heather, who contributed to both editions. “But our experiences are special,” adds contributor Rysa Lee. “We have the tools that can help others.”

Sibling survivor / guide contributor Rysa Lee — **Watch** the sibling survivors discuss their stories and **read** their advice to others.

At the project’s start, the siblings met virtually before gathering in person in Salt Lake City in January 2024. There, they bonded, and wholeheartedly shared their experiences and advice on camera for the new edition’s companion videos. “Working with the other siblings of missing persons left me shocked at the outcomes they had; in some way, they each had answers,” says contributor Kimber Biggs. “It was comforting to know that getting answers is even possible.”

Content talks continued, and the guide began to take shape. Then, on May 22, 2024, a powerful two-hour roundtable was held at OJJDP offices after the National Missing Children’s Day ceremony in Washington, D.C.

The siblings agree that “there is no right or wrong way to survive, it is just our own,” Heather says. “We hope that sharing our experiences will empower other siblings to forge ahead, and possibly empower someone else to do the same.”

Each of the sibling contributors discussed their lives now as social workers, teachers, and counselors. Contributor Sayeh Rivazfar has dedicated two decades of her life to serving in law enforcement, investigating crimes against children, before her retirement two years ago.

Sayeh doesn’t think of herself as a victim or survivor: “It’s more than that. I see myself more as a thriver, despite the odds.” She credits this to the love and support she has received over the years from family members, friends, and caring professionals.

“A guide like this would have been so helpful to us,” she says. “But we hope that now, with its help, with our help, children can know they are not alone. That we care about them, and want them to thrive too.”

Rysa adds another positive take. There is light to be found in the darkness of tumult, she says. “Siblings do come home, and my family is living proof.”

New guide’s sibling contributors

Kimber Biggs, sister of Mikelle Biggs (Arizona) Kimber was 9 when her 11-year-old sister, Mikelle, was kidnapped on January 2, 1999, while riding her bike near their family’s Arizona home. Mikelle was never seen again. Since then, Kimber has spent 25 years advocating on her sister’s behalf. Through the Facebook page Justice for Mikelle Biggs, Kimber shares updates on Mikelle’s case to more than 29,000 followers. Also, since late 2023, Kimber has worked as an AATTAP- NCJTC Associate, providing her powerful family perspective to investigators learning how to best work with victims’ families in missing persons cases. “It has taken a lot of work and therapy to get to the place I am today,” she says. She also remains hopeful that her sister’s case will be solved. “A new detective has been assigned to what was a very cold case,” she told attendees at the 2024 National AMBER Alert and AMBER Alert in Indian Country Symposium. “The fact that he’s eyeing a significant suspect in the case makes it feel like something is finally happening.”

Rysa Lee, sister of Maayimuna “Muna” N’Diaye (Alabama) Rysa was 14 when her 4-year-old sister, “Muna,” was abducted by her biological father to Mali, West Africa, on December 27, 2011. Rysa and Muna’s mother, Dr. Noelle Hunter, began a relentless campaign to bring “Muna” home—which thankfully occurred in July 2014. Since then, the family has tirelessly advocated on behalf of international parental child abduction (IPCA) cases via the organization they founded, the iStandParent Network. While her sister’s IPCA case was relatively short, “that year and a half was by far the most difficult and longest time of my life,” Rysa says. “To this day, I have never felt as empty and distraught as I felt during that time. The fact that my youngest sister was across an ocean and not in the room next to me sleeping every night was incredibly painful.” Rysa found comfort in high school band and color guard participation, listening to music, “and leaning on my friends to cope.” She currently works in banking and attends the University of Alabama in Huntsville, where her mother, an assistant professor of political science, oversees the International Child Abduction Prevention and Research Office (and contributed to the Family Survival Guide).

Cory Redwine, brother of Dylan Redwine (Colorado) On November 18, 2012, Cory was 20 years old when his 13-year-old younger brother, Dylan, traveled to stay with their father on a scheduled court-ordered visit. The next day his father would report Dylan as missing. The teen’s whereabouts remained unknown until 2017, when his father was convicted of second-degree murder and child abuse in Dylan’s death. Before then, Cory and his family spent nearly a decade searching for Dylan. They have since spent years seeking justice for him and educating others about the legal loopholes in parental custody issues that can prove deadly. (Cory and Dylan’s mother, Elaine Hall, is now an AATTAP/ NCJTC Associate who discusses her family’s case with law enforcement; she also contributed to the Family Survival Guide.) Cory recalls the court process being “long and arduous; it brought up so many emotions for me. But it also made me realize that I am stronger than I thought I was, that my voice and words are powerful,” he says. Now a father of two, Cory finds it an honor to helps adults facing difficult situations. “My experience, different as it is from theirs, allows me to help them through challenging times and come out better on the other side.”

Sayeh Rivazfar, sister of Sara Rivazfar (New York) After her parents’ divorce in 1985, Sayeh and her younger siblings had “child welfare officials in and out of our home due to physical and mental abuse at the hands of our mother and others,” Sayeh says. “Unfortunately, [our mother] thought having men in our lives would help us. But her boyfriends weren’t all good. In fact, one changed our lives forever in the worst way imaginable.” In the middle of the night of September 22, 1988, one of those boyfriends took the sisters from their home, drove to a remote area, brutally assaulted both girls and left them to die. Sayeh, then 8 years old, survived. Sara, age 6, did not. “From that day forward, I felt guilty for surviving and had dreams of saving my sister from this nightmare,” Sayeh says. “I was determined to bring her killer to justice.” Thankfully she was able to do just that. She and her brother, Aresh, moved to Rochester, New York, to live with their father, Ahmad (now a nationally known child protection advocate and Family Survival Guide contributor). Sayeh’s passion to help others, especially children, inspired her to join the New York State Police force, from which she recently retired after two decades of child protection and investigative work. She now focuses on being a good mother to her son. “I’m proud of the work I’ve done, and even prouder of the children I’ve helped,” she says. “The story never ends, but it can have a better ending than one might think.”

Heather Bish, sister of Molly Bish (Massachusetts) On June 27, 2000, Heather’s 16-year-old sister, Molly, went missing while working as a lifeguard. Molly’s disappearance led to the most extensive search for a missing person in Massachusetts history. In June 2003, Molly’s remains were found five miles from her home in Warren. While the investigation into her sister’s murder continues, Heather uses social media to help law enforcement generate leads and “share her story—our story,” she says. Heather was supportive of her parents’ work to create the Molly Bish Foundation, dedicated to protecting children. “I carry that legacy on today,” she says. She has filed familial DNA legislation for unresolved cases and advocates for DNA analyses for these types of crimes. She also has served on the Massachusetts Office of Victim Assistance Board and was part of the state’s Missing Persons Task Force. “As a mother and a teacher, my hope is that children never have to experience a tragedy like this.”

Zack Svendgard, brother of Jessika Svendgard (Washington) In 2010, Zack’s younger sister, Jessika, first ran away, and then was lured away from their family home near Seattle. As a result, the 15-year-old became a victim of sex trafficking. It took 108 days for Jessika to return to her family and get the help she needed, Zack says. “Her recovery in many ways was just the beginning. In many ways the broken person who came home was not the little girl who had left.” Jessika’s ordeal has been featured in the documentaries “I Am Jane Doe” and “The Long Night.” She and her mother, Nacole, have become powerful advocates for victims of sex trafficking and instrumental in passing legislation to increase victim rights, issue harsher punishments for sex offenders, and shut down websites that facilitate sex trafficking. (Nacole is an AATTAP/NCJTC Associate who provides her family perspective to law enforcement; she also contributed to the Family Survival Guide.) “We’ve joined organizations such as Team HOPE [of the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children/NCMEC] to provide counseling to others, and are ourselves committed to therapy and self care.”

Amy & Carmen Wetterling, brother of Jacob (Minnesota) On October 22, 1989, Amy and Carmen’s brother, 11-year-old Jacob, was abducted at gunpoint by a masked man while riding his bike with his younger brother, Trevor, and a family friend. His whereabouts were unknown for nearly three decades, but on September 1, 2016, Jacob’s remains were found after his killer confessed to the crime. Jacob’s abduction had an enormous impact—not only on his family, but also on people throughout the Midwest, who lost their sense of safety. Amy, Carmen, and Trevor have been inspired to help others by their mother, Patty Wetterling. Patty has shared countless victim impact sessions with law enforcement across the U.S. (many of them AATTAP/NCJTC trainings). She is co-founder and past director NCMEC’s Team HOPE, co-author of the 2023 book, Dear Jacob: A Mother’s Journey of Hope, and a contributor to the Family Survival Guide. “Jacob inspires us every day,” Amy says. “He believed in a fair and just world, a world where all children know they are special and deserve to be safe.” Adds Carmen, “Jacob believed that people were good. And he lived his life centered on 11 simple traits.”

Additional contributors:
Learn about the siblings who shared their advice for the 2007 first edition of What About Me? Coping With the Abduction of a Brother or Sister here.

Sibling contributor Sayeh Rivazfar—a retired 20-year veteran of the New York State Police—with her son. [Photo: MaKenna Rivazfar] — Sibling contributor Sayeh Rivazfar—a retired 20-year veteran of the New York State Police—with her son.

Helpful advice for the helpers

What About Me? includes a detailed section of guidance relating to law enforcement and judicial processes. It also provides tips for navigating traditional media and social media. Consider these insights from the sibling contributors.

During a law enforcement investigation

Siblings “may have a law enforcement officer with little or no experience with a missing children case, seems uncomfortable and distant, or someone who jumps in with both feet,” says Sayeh Rivazfar. The retired law enforcement professional is the survivor of a heinous crime against her and her sister, Sara, who did not survive. “If you want to talk to a different officer, speak up,” Sayeh advises.
Children are especially confused by law enforcement’s intrusion upon their home and being asked what seems like invasive questions. Help them understand that this is normal—either directly or with the help of a family/child advocate.
“Just because you don’t hear about progress doesn’t mean they’re not making any,” one sibling notes. Try to schedule regular check-in calls with the family. Let families know that while law enforcement is unable to share every detail of the investigation, they can strive to apprise the family of their progress while keeping lines of communication open and productive.
If children are expressing anger toward their parents, emphasize that “your parents are still your parents, they still love you, and they care about your feelings—even if they can’t show it right now,” contributors say.
Be prepared for such questions as:
»How do I handle phone calls during the search?
»How should we handle our missing sibling’s social media and email accounts?
»Can I still go into my sibling’s room?
»Will we get their belongings back?

Working with traditional/social media

There’s no such thing as “off the record,” contributors say.
To foster quality reporting “find the journalist who provides compassion and truth, and give them an exclusive interview,” Sayeh advises.
With nonstop anonymous, uniformed sources on social media, tell children to “be prepared for positive and negative running commentary,” Rysa Lee says.
Propose potential answers (in italics) to commonly asked media questions that often make children uncomfortable:
»Do you think your sibling is still alive? I hope so.
»What happened? I don’t know, and I don’t want to talk about it with you.
»Was your sibling sexually abused? I don’t know, but it’s not something I want to discuss.
»How does this situation make you feel? I don’t want to talk about my feelings right now.

By Denise Gee Peacock

National Missing Children’s Day has long been a lodestar for families of missing children—a safe harbor for gathering with child protection professionals who on that day are recognized by the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ) for being at the top of their game.

This year that star shone brighter than ever, largely fueled by the unwavering advocacy work of nearly a dozen surviving family members—including parents and siblings—who have endured the nightmare of a missing child, brother, or sister. Their presence at the May 22 commemoration, and related events, was deeply moving—despite the fact that “all of us belong to a club that no one ever wants to belong to,” says parent survivor Ahmad Rivazfar.

That club’s members include parents and siblings desperate to find their missing loved ones, whose whereabouts remain unknown. They are also families who will forever grieve a child who was abducted, sexually assaulted, and murdered; families of children illegally taken out of the country by an estranged parent; families who have fortunately been reunited with their once-missing child, but now work to become whole again.

These family survivors’ stories were invaluable to discussions during the 2024 National Missing Children’s Day events. The AMBER Alert Training & Technical Assistance Program (AATTAP) and National Criminal Justice Training Center (NCJTC) hosted the family members at the events, with support from the DOJ’s Office of Justice Programs (OJP) and Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention (OJJDP).

The AATTAP-NCJTC team and surviving family members were unified in promoting their work on two updated DOJ resources for parents and families of missing children: When Your Child Is Missing: A Family Survival Guide (released last year) and the forthcoming sibling-focused survival guide, What About Me? Finding Your Path When Your Brother or Sister Is Missing.

Collaboration for a clearer path forward

The day before the National Missing Children’s Day commemoration, surviving family members paid a visit to the Alexandria, Virginia, headquarters of the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC). Afterward they attended a private AATTAP reception recognizing their contributions to ensuring family members across the nation have access to the latest information and resources.

They also previewed video segments from a filming project completed earlier this year, one in which contributors to the forthcoming What About Me? sibling survival guide shared their insights and advice to illuminate its content for readers. The videos will be offered alongside the sibling guide (after its release later this year) on the Family Survival Guide website.

They also heard from nationally revered parent-advocate and retired AATTAP-NCJTC Associate Patty Wetterling, who was a featured speaker at the event. Wetterling is the mother of Jacob Wetterling, who was abducted and murdered in 1989. (Read more about her search for him, and her new book, Dear Jacob, here—and an excerpt from her Missing Children’s Day talk below.) Wetterling also helped update the new edition of the Family Survival Guide, released in 2023.

During the session, the family members discussed their experiences with being a part of these survival guide projects, along with their ongoing needs and goals as surviving family members who have experienced a missing child or sibling.

They also offered OJJDP and AATTAP leaders recommendations on ways to best support families and more broadly promote awareness and distribution of critically important resources for families, law enforcement, and child advocates.

Following through on a commitment made by OJJDP Administrator Ryan last year during her impactful meeting with the Family Survival Guide contributors at the conclusion of the Missing Children’s Day ceremony, this year’s event included an inaugural, private Family Roundtable discussion with sibling guide family contributors.

Commemoration highlights

Each year, the DOJ honors agencies, organizations, law enforcement officials, and others whose exemplary and heroic efforts have helped recover missing children and prosecute those who harm them.

“Our commemoration is taking a new format this year,” Ryan explained. “OJJDP decided not only to highlight the tremendous work of those who protect children, but also address the challenges in this work—to learn more about issues involving missing kids, and hold in-depth conversations with youth and families of missing and murdered children and other experts on these topics.”

After the commemoration, a cadre of experts, including a youth advocate with lived experience in the foster care system, joined a panel discussion on why so many children and young adults go missing from care. “They will suggest ways to improve collaboration and ensure the well-being of these children,” Ryan said. She next recognized members of the Family Roundtable—parents, siblings and others with a loved one who has gone missing. “Each of them has contributed to two very important [survival] documents.”

When Your Child Is Missing: A Family Survival Guide was announced at the 2023 Missing Children’s Day event. The new fifth edition provides a wider range of missing child situations; gives families instant access to information online; and allows them to hear advice and encouragement from the parents themselves, who speak in powerful videos.

As was the case with the Family Survival Guide, the What About Me? project was developed by AATTAP’s publications team with guidance and oversight from the OJJDP. Both initiatives were stewarded by Helen Connelly, retired FVTC-NCJTC Program Administrator who continues to share her expertise as an Associate employee.

Looking back—and ahead

“As you know thousands of children go missing in the U.S. every year,” Ryan said. “While most are safely recovered, others are found deceased and never identified. Currently there are more than 1,000 children whose remains have been found, but have not been identified. We want to help name them, and return them to their families, communities, and loved ones.”

The OJJDP and NCMEC, with support from the DOJ—and training and technical assistance from the AATTAP and NCJTC—will work with state and local law enforcement agencies to identify these children, Ryan explained, adding, “they deserve no less.”

The forthcoming sibling survival guide, What About Me?, will help a missing child’s siblings understand the emotional turmoil surrounding the crisis as well as the search process. It will offer trusted advice and firsthand insight into what to expect; tips for managing self-care and family dynamics; and guidance on how to deal with law enforcement, the courts, and the media.

Photo of two women with this caption: Patty Wetterling (right) greets NCMEC’s Director of Special Projects Sherry Bailey during the family survivors’ visit to NCMEC headquarters in Arlington, Virginia. — Patty Wetterling (right) greets NCMEC’s Director of Special Projects Sherry Bailey during the family survivors’ visit to NCMEC headquarters in Arlington, Virginia.

NCMEC President and CEO Michelle DeLaune welcomed parent-advocate Patti Wetterling to speak, recognizing her as “a longtime friend and a personal source of inspiration.”

“Her son, Jacob, who went missing when he was 11 years old, was abducted near their home in Minnesota,” DeLaune said. “Patty has given her life to advocating for her son. She’s raised a beautiful family. And she’s a fierce mother, one who changes this world with every person she speaks to.”

Assistant U.S. Attorney General Amy L. Solomon added, “We’re so honored that you could be with us today, Patty. We’re indebted to you for your years of advocacy on behalf of missing children, and for the work you continue to do to claim a brighter future for our children.”

What follows is an excerpt of Wetterling’s remarks given at this year’s National Missing Children’s Day commemoration.

I want to thank you, Liz Ryan, for meeting with this amazing group. [Wetterling gestures to the family-survivor group attending the ceremony.] I belong over there with you, my heart is with you, and we draw strength from you. I also want to thank everybody at NCMEC and the DOJ. You save lives. You saved mine.

National Missing Children’s Day is a time to shine a light on a dark topic. When my son, Jacob, was kidnapped, I knew nothing about crimes against children. ‘Who would do that?’ I cried, ‘Who would harm a child?’ It is an unimaginable pain.

After a few days, sleep deprived and depressed, I crawled into bed and pulled the covers over my head, deciding I’m never gonna get out of bed again. It’s too hard. It hurts too much. I can’t do it. But with tears streaming down my face, I suddenly saw Jacob curled up in a ball somewhere saying the same thing. ‘I can’t do this anymore. It’s too hard. They’re never going to find me.’

Screaming, I got up and said, ‘Hold on Jacob, we will find you! But you have to stay strong!’ I got out of bed. That decision to get out of bed was the first of many choices that I had to make.

That was in the early days, and in the 34 years that have followed, I decided I couldn’t live in the darkness. I chose to seek light instead. I chose to fight for the world that Jacob knew and loved—a world that was fair, kind, and safe for kids.

When I was given the phone number for the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, I learned so much about the problem—how many children were missing and exploited, and what we all needed to do to bring them home. Most kids come home because somebody is aware of their abduction. They look at the pictures. And if they see something unusual about a child, or a child in a bad situation, they trust their instincts and call the police.

We tried to make sure everybody got Jacob’s pictures. We had to mail out pictures back in 1989. We sent them all over. My favorite story was when a couple was traveling from Minnesota to Florida and thought they saw Jacob. They recognized the picture and said, ‘He was with a man who’s very thin, and he didn’t look like he wanted to be with this guy.’ But they didn’t know who to call. So eventually they called the FBI in Minneapolis. When they described the man that this boy was with, the FBI agent knew who they were talking about…and caught up with him in Flagstaff, Arizona. And clearly [the child they found with him] wasn’t Jacob.

But at least one 12-year-old boy got to go home because somebody was aware of the problem. They looked at the pictures and took that extra step of being there for the child. In those 34 years since Jacob was kidnapped, I’ve learned we are stronger when we collectively pool ideas and resources through Team HOPE and the family and sibling survival guides, we support each other and offer assistance to other families walking down this difficult path.

We have to keep missing children in our hearts until we can hold them in our arms again.

We are all the hope for all missing children, as well as all children who are home safe today.

We can never give up hope.

And together, we can, and we will, build a safer world for all of our children.

Group photo of AATTAP-NCJTC-family survivors at the 2024 National Missing Children's Day commemoration in Washington, DC.

Participants at the OJJDP Family Survivor Roundtable Discussion in 2024

Alternate view of OJJDP-AATTAP-NCTJC roundtable meeting with family survivors

Photo of sibling survivor Heather talking at the Family Roundtable Discussion at OJJDP headquarters in 2024

Dr. Noelle Hunter and Jeffery Morehouse at the OJJDP Family Survivor Roundtable Discussion

AATTAP team members and family survivors await of the start of the 2024 National Missing Children’s Day event at the U.S. Department of Justice Great Hall on May 22 in Washington D.C.

AATTAP team members and family survivors pose for a selfie before the 2024 National Missing Children’s Day commemoration.

AATTAP Administrator Janell Rasmussen congratulates the 2024 National Missing Children’s Day poster winner, Hanna L., a fifth grader from Chesnee, South Carolina. She and Hanna are shown with Hanna’s mother (back) and South Carolina AMBER Alert Coordinator Alex Schelble (right).

Photo of the winning poster with this quote from the South Carolina fifth grader, Hanna L., who created it: "Those who help bring back missing children change the whole picture completely."

Family survivors Dr. Noelle Hunter (right) and her daughter, Rysa, are shown during a group visit to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children headquarters in Alexandria, Virginia.

Also photographed during the NCMEC visit were (from left) sibling survivor Heather, family survivor Yvonne Ambrose, and sibling survivor Kimber.

AATTAP Administrator Janell Rasmussen (standing) welcomes family survivors and others to a reception in honor of the forthcoming sibling-survivor resource, What About Me?

14. NCJTC Executive Director Brad Russ (right) shares a hug with parent survivor and longtime advocate for missing children, Patty Wetterling, during the AATTAP reception.

Shown at the reception for family survivors are (from left): NCJTC Executive Director Brad Russ, AATTAP Special Projects Associate Helen Connelly, AATTAP Administrator Janell Rasmussen, AATTAP Deputy Administrator Jenniffer Price-Lehmann, and AATTAP Project Coordinator Yesenia “Jesi” Leon-Baron.

From left: Family survivor Ahmad Rivazfar converses with AATTAP Project Coordinator Yesenia “Jesi” Leon-Baron and sibling survivor Heather at the reception.

Parent survivor Patty Wetterling (left) shares a moment with another mother who lost a child to abduction and murder: Pamela Foster. Foster is the mother of Ashlynne Mike, whose 2016 abduction and murder on the Navajo Nation Reservation in New Mexico led to the creation of the 2018 Ashlynne Mike AMBER Alert in Indian Country Act—and AATTAP’s AMBER Alert in Indian Country initiative.

By Denise Gee Peacock

At the 41st National Missing Children’s Day commemoration May 22, 2024 in Washington, D.C., staff members from the AMBER Alert Training & Technical Assistance Program and National Criminal Justice Training Center accompanied family members of missing children who have helped produce two multimedia resources for the U.S. Department of Justice Office of Justice Programs (OJP) and Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention (OJJDP): When Your Child Is Missing: A Family Survival Guide and the forthcoming What About Me? Finding Your Path When Your Brother or Sister Is Missing.

On the day before the Missing Children’s Day commemoration, the AATTAP-hosted family members paid a visit to the Alexandria, Virginia, headquarters of the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC). Afterward they attended an AATTAP reception recognizing them for their contributions to ensuring family members across the nation have access to the latest information and resources. They also were shown highlights of videos that will be featured on the Family Survival Guide website along with the publication once released. (Stay tuned to The AMBER Advocate for more details.)

Recognition and collaboration for better understanding—and a clear path forward

During the National Missing Children’s Day ceremony, the group received thanks for their efforts from U.S. Assistant Attorney General Amy L. Solomon, OJJDP Administrator Liz Ryan, and NCMEC President and CEO Michelle DeLaune—as well as attendee applause when they were asked to stand for recognition. They also heard from nationally revered parent-advocate and retired AATTAP-NCJTC Associate Patty Wetterling, who was a featured speaker at the event. Patty is the mother of Jacob Wetterling, who was abducted and murdered in 1989. (Read more about her search for him, and her new book, Dear Jacob, here.) Wetterling also helped update the new Family Survival Guide.

Following through on a commitment made by OJJDP Administrator Liz Ryan last year during her impactful meeting with the Family Survival Guide contributors at the conclusion of the Missing Children’s Day ceremony, this year’s event included an inaugural, private Family Roundtable meeting during which both Family Survival Guide and Sibling Guide family members discussed their experiences with being a part of these projects, their ongoing needs and goals as surviving family members who have experienced a missing child or sibling, and offered OJJDP and AATTAP leaders recommendations on ways to best support families and more broadly promulgate awareness and distribution of these and other critically important resources for family, law enforcement, community and child advocates.

“The AATTAP was honored to be invited by Administrator Ryan and other OJJDP leadership to facilitate a discussion with the families of missing and murdered children. We discussed ways to improve law enforcement response, preparedness, family support and protecting children. Bringing the important perspectives of both parents and siblings, they bravely and earnestly offered their personal stories and messages of hope for those facing the same unthinkable situation.”

Janell Rasmussen
Administrator, AMBER Alert Training & Technical Assistance Program

Commemoration highlights

Each year, the Justice Department also honors agencies, organizations, law enforcement officials, and others whose exemplary heroic efforts to help recover missing children and prosecute people who harm them.

“Our commemoration is taking a new format this year,” Ryan said. “OJJDP decided not only to highlight the tremendous work of law enforcement others in efforts to protect children, but also to take this opportunity to address the challenge is in this work— to learn more about issues related to missing kids, and hold in depth conversations with youth and families of missing and murdered children and other experts on these related topics.”

Following the commemoration, a cadre of experts, including a youth advocate with lived experience in the foster care system, participated in a panel discussion on the reasons why so many children and young adults go missing from care. “They will suggest ways we can improve collaboration and to ensure the health and well-being of these children,” Ryan explained.

Ryan next recognized “members of family roundtable—parents, siblings and other family members with a loved one who has gone missing. They know firsthand the torment, confusion and emotional exhaustion of losing a child,” she said. “They lived it and they have channeled that sorrow into resources to helping others. Each of the family roundtable members here today has contributed to two important guidance documents."

When Your Child Is Missing: A Family Survival Guide was announced at the 2023 Missing Children’s Day event. The new fifth edition provides a wider range of missing child situations; gives families immediate access to information via its online format; and allows them to hear parents’ advice and encouragement from the parents themselves, who speak directly to them through powerful videos.

As was the case with the Family Survival Guide project, the What About Me? project was developed by AATTAP’s publications team with guidance and oversight from the OJJDP. And both projects where shepherded by Helen Connelly, a former program administrator for Fox Valley Technical College (FVTC)—home to AATTAP and the NCJTC.

The new sibling survival guide will help a missing child’s siblings understand both the emotional turmoil surrounding the crisis and the ongoing search for their sibling. It will offer advice and resources; tips on self-care, mental health, and family dynamics; guidance on dealing with law enforcement, the media, and court; first-hand insight on what to expect and how to cope.

Looking back—and ahead

This year marks the 40th anniversary of NCMEC, which has contributed to the safe recovery of more than 400,000 missing children.

Additionally, the OJJDP is celebrating 50th anniversary of the Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention Act. The law that established our office OJJDP has supported youth and families across the nation, providing federal funds owing to states, territories, Tribes, and communities to protect children prevent delinquency and transform juvenile justice systems.”

“As you know thousands of children go missing in the U.S. every year,” Ryan said. “While most are safely recovered, others are found deceased and never identified. Currently there are more than 1,000 children whose remains have been found, but have not been identified. We want to help name them and return them to their families, communities and loved ones.”

Wetterling to DOJ & NCMEC: ‘You Save Lives. You Saved Mine.’

NCMEC President and CEO Michelle DeLaune welcomed Patti Wetterling to speak, recognizing her as “a longtime friend and a personal source of inspiration.”

“Her son, Jacob, who went missing when he was 11 years old, was abducted near their home in Minnesota,” she said. “Patty has given her life to advocating for her son. She has raised a beautiful family. She is a fierce mother and has changed this world with every person she speaks to.”

“We're so honored that you could be with us today,” added Attorney General Solomon. “We’re indebted to you for your years of advocacy on behalf of missing children and for the work that you continue to do to claim a brighter future for our children.”

The following is an excerpt of Wetterling’s remarks at the 2024 National Missing Children’s Day event:

I want to thank you, Liz Ryan, for meeting with the group, this amazing group. [She gestures to the families group attending the ceremony.] I belong over there with you, my heart is with you, and we draw strength from you. And I also want to thank everybody at NCMEC and the DOJ. You save lives, you saved mine.

National Missing Children's Day is an amazing time to shine a light on a dark topic. When my son Jacob was kidnapped, I knew nothing about crimes against children. ‘Who would do that?’ I cried! ‘Who would harm a child?’ It is an unimaginable pain.

After a few days, sleep deprived and depressed, I crawled into bed and pull the covers over my head and decided I'm never gonna get out of bed again. It's too hard. It hurts too much. I can't do it. With tears streaming down my face, I suddenly saw Jacob curled up in a ball somewhere saying the same thing. “I can't do this anymore. It's too hard. They're never going to find me.”

Screaming I got up and said, ‘Hold on Jacob, we will find you! But you have to stay strong!’

I got out of bed. That decision to get out of bed was the first of many choices that we made. And for me, it was in the early days—and 34 years that have followed—I decided I couldn’t live in the darkness, and I chose to seek light. Instead, I chose to fight for the world that Jacob knew and loved—a world that was fair and kind and safe for kids.

When I was given that phone number for the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, I learned so much about the problem; how many children were missing and exploited and what we all needed to do to bring them home. Most kids come home because somebody is aware of their abduction. They look at the pictures. And if they see something unusual about a child, or a child in a bad situation, they trust their instincts and call the police.

We tried to make sure everybody got Jacob’s pictures. We had to mail pictures out back in 1989. We sent them all over. But my favorite story was when a couple was traveling from Minnesota to Florida, and they thought they saw Jacob. They recognized the picture and said, ‘He was with a man who's very thin and he didn’t look like he wanted to be with this guy.’ But they didn't know who to call. So eventually they called the FBI in Minneapolis. When they described the man that this boy was with the FBI agent knew who they were talking about… they caught up with him in Flagstaff, Arizona. And clearly [the child they found with him] wasn't Jacob.

But one 12-year-old boy got to go home because somebody was aware of the problem. They looked at the pictures and they took that extra step of being there for the child. In those 34 years since Jacob was kidnapped, I've learned that collectively, we are strong when we pool ideas and resources. Through Team HOPE and the family and sibling survival guides. We support each other and offer assistance to other families walking down this difficult path.

When a when a child is missing, it affects the entire world. Classmates, teachers, neighbors, cousins, friends—all have their worlds turned upside down… We have to keep missing children in our hearts until we can hold them in our arms again.

We are all the hope for all missing children, as well as all children who are home safe today. We can never give up hope. And together, we can, and we will, build a safer world for all of our children.

Former Investigation Supervisor Reflects on Early Days of Case—And Lessons for Today

Lead Investigator Now Assigned to Hagerman Case Discusses Hopes for DNA Testing—and Goal of Solving the Crime

Arlington Police Department Homicide Detective Krystallyne Robinson has been the lead detective on the Amber Hagerman case since summer 2023. We recently had the chance to ask her a few questions.

New guide’s sibling contributors

Helpful advice for the helpers

During a law enforcement investigation

Working with traditional/social media

Collaboration for a clearer path forward

Commemoration highlights

Looking back—and ahead

Parent-advocate Patty Wetterling to DOJ and NCMEC: ‘You save lives. You saved mine.’

Recognition and collaboration for better understanding—and a clear path forward

Commemoration highlights

Looking back—and ahead

Wetterling to DOJ & NCMEC: ‘You Save Lives. You Saved Mine.’